Meet Your Mentor
Life is a series of lessons. However, if you are not clear on what you are trying to learn you may spend a lot of time learning what you don’t want before you finally focus on what you do. Sometimes that’s the only way. However, I believe there is a faster way. A way to accelerate your learning process so that you find You sooner. Then you can craft your life more intentionally; creating the body, life and experience of life you want to have! It’s not comfortable, but in my experience, it’s worth it! Diamonds are annealed only under pressure.
I was brought up in a home that was no stranger to addiction. It wasn’t long after repetitive ankle injuries and the loss of my dream to become an Olympic gymnast, that I began struggling with my own compulsion for food and perfection. It took years of struggling and figuring it out but I realized one day… “I am not bulimic. I am not some label that doctors give to a constellation of symptoms. I don’t have a disease. I’m choosing this behavior… and I can choose to stop.” I have a beautiful and healthy relationship with my body and food. I am no longer defined by its appearance or capabilities. I broke those chains.
However, it quickly became evident that there were other “chains;” attention, love and acceptance from men, codependency and needing to be needed or wanted. Jealous, dependent, draining relationships bloomed. One of which ended in violence, and almost the loss of my life 15 years ago. I woke up and owned my responsibility in creating these relationships. I began to give myself the attention, acceptance, desire and love I was so desperately seeking in others. I have created beautiful, loving, mutually supportive and expansive relationships that fill me, rather than drain me. I broke those chains.
But still there were others… Success, and accomplishments; I have earned my medical license and built a largely successful company spanning 3 countries which I allowed to define me and my value. I have since closed the company and been forced to choose to surrender my medical license and all I have worked so hard to attain, or defend my competence and skill as a physician for choosing to take a stand to help women break their chains and become stronger. I have chosen to stand for myself and the value I know I bring to my patients, these women, and the world. I am no longer defined by my credentials or my material success in the external world. Humanity and justice are more important to me. I broke those chains.
I loved the material gain, external freedom and options I had earned as part of building my skills as a physician and entrepreneur. I have sold my home and all of my possessions to stand for what I know to be right. I am not defined by money or materialism, and I know I cannot be bought. My value is much deeper. I broke those chains.
I loved being the center of positive attention and the instant respect being a physician gleaned. I have become the subject of wrongful and illegitimate media claims, slandered and defamed by close friends that turned on me. I have lost countless friends, colleagues, references and had the trust and foundation of many other relationships rocked. I am still here. I now give myself the respect I used to turn to others for, because I have evaluated and decided for myself what I believe to be the most important human ideals one can embody, and I strive to embody them on a daily basis. I have earned my self-respect. I have broken those chains as well.
I was “looking for love and validation in all the wrong places”. One by one I have broken those chains. It is an unending journey, but I have come to discover, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am the source of my unending joy. I am the source of my eternal love. I am the master of my thoughts, I am the master of my emotions, I am the master of my body. I am the master of my values, my health, my energy, my relationships, my behaviors, my choices, my words… my life. I am the master of my Bodhi.
… and you can be too.